Conscious Choice: Sometimes the Teacher Becomes the Student

September 2004 | Body & Mind Health

Sometimes the Teacher Becomes the Student

by Darlene E. Paris

Follow your heart. It sounds so easy, so simple, so pure, but it’s actually an awkward process. When you follow your heart, you don’t always know where you’re going to land. You may start out doing one thing but end up doing something entirely different. Recently, I learned a big lesson about following my heart from a group of unexpected teachers. They taught me that when you follow your heart, you’ll be challenged to take more risks, and one of those risks is being courageous enough to let go of the past.

I decided to follow my heart when I quit my advertising job of 10 years to become a grade-school teacher. I knew it would take a large dose of faith, and a whole lot of courage and determination. But I never expected that my heart would lead me to embark upon yet another career path.

I began as a substitute teacher for six years before deciding to teach full time. I loved teaching so much that I went back to school and earned certification in elementary education. Once I began teaching full-time, however, I wasn’t convinced that teaching grade school was my true calling. I began praying for direction.

Around the time I declared to the Universe that I was ready to live life on my own terms, a friend of mine, Derrick Williams, who owns a holistic health care center, asked me if I would consider leaving my job to work with him as he expanded his business.

I had always dreamed of working in the field of holistic medicine. Having recuperated from an illness using a variety of alternative health methods, I was inspired to become certified in colonics and went to a natural-healing school. At the time, I wasn’t necessarily interested in building a business, I just wanted to learn so that I could give myself treatments, and, every once in a while, help out a few family members and friends.

Derrick knew that my personal experiences with natural healing had inspired me to start writing about holistic health. He assured me that once I established a strong client base, I’d be able to take as much time off as I needed to work on my writing projects.

Derrick’s offer was tempting, but I told him that I had to meditate on it to see if quitting my job was the right thing to do. Even though it seemed as if my dream was about to become a reality, I was afraid of letting go of the security I felt being a teacher.

“I have insurance, I receive a paycheck every other week, and I’ll get Social Security and insurance benefits once I retire,” I told my best friend, Unmani, as I reviewed reasons why I should remain in teaching.

A real risk taker, Unmani believes in going with the flow of life. For Unmani, going with the flow often means changing careers. She has leaped from one work situation to another: door-to-door saleswoman, diet consultant, aerobics teacher, massage therapist, raw-food chef, and yoga instructor. She was the one who encouraged me to leave my cushy position as an advertising executive and pursue a job as a teacher. Sensing that I really wanted to accept Derrick’s offer, Unmani advised that I simply follow my heart and let go of my teaching position.

I wasn’t all that comfortable with letting go. My reputation as a dependable schoolteacher was at stake. The principal at my school had asked me to teach second grade for the following school year and I promised her that I would. Going with the flow of life would make me seem irresponsible.

But my friend kept urging me to embrace change. “When we’re hesitant to move, when we’re afraid to let go of some person, place, or thing just because it’s familiar to us, when we’re not moving with the flow of life, we lessen our opportunities for growth,” she said.

I understood where she was coming from, but I still wasn’t convinced that I should stop teaching. I knew I needed to make a decision. The school year was coming to an end and the principal was arranging meetings with teachers to discuss their contracts for the following school year. My meeting was just days away.

Then I was invited to attend a graduation ceremony at the school where I first began teaching. The students in the first class I had ever taught were graduating from elementary school and going on to middle school. These students had made me feel proud of going into the field of education. Their enthusiasm for learning kept my thirst for teaching alive. Throughout the school year, I had kept copies of every letter they wrote to me, pictures they drew, and greeting cards they made, so I could put them in a scrapbook and always remember them. I loved these students so much that when the school year ended, I wanted to follow them to third grade. I couldn’t miss their graduation so I got permission from my principal to attend their ceremony.

I took a seat near the front row. I wanted my students to see that I had made it a point to be there. As I sat in the audience watching them receive various awards, I uttered their names as they reached for their certificates: Carl Bledsoe ... Trevor Crawford ... Jasmine Sanchez. I’d comment aloud on how much they had grown. “Alicia looks so pretty,” “Brian has gotten so tall,” “Wow, look at Frankie!” I felt more like a mother than a teacher.

Once the ceremony was over, I walked in the hallway among the graduates. A few recognized me, waved and smiled, but the majority acted as if they had forgotten me. I struck up conversations with some, and soon learned that these fifth grade students weren’t interested in reminiscing about the fun we had had in second grade. They were looking forward to their summer vacation and spending time with their families and friends.

Suddenly it dawned upon me that these kids had moved on — I was the only one holding on to the time we spent in second grade. It was their ability to glide from one moment to the next, with no desire to cling to the past, that inspired me to take a closer look at the opportunity before me.

After the graduation, I mustered up the courage to call my friend and tell him I would join him in building his business.

My students had taught me an invaluable lesson. The ease with which they stepped into their present moment inspired me to go with the flow of my life. Just as my former students graduated from grade school that day with their eyes focused forward on their summer vacation, and not on me, I was no longer interested in clinging to the past. I was ready for change.

Darlene E. Paris is a Chicago-based writer specializing in spiritual matters.

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