Conscious Choice: Real Thanksgiving

November 2005 | Body & Mind Health

Real Thanksgiving

by Darlene E. Paris

This year I’m calling it the Thanksgiving of my revenge. I’ve decided to host the official holiday dinner. My cousins are wary. They figure if they sit down at the dinner table with me, they’ll have to eat a turkey-free meal. They’re right. I plan to serve tofu turkey along with a plate of steamed vegetables, a few cooked grain dishes and sweet potato pie, made without dairy, of course, to sweeten the deal. A raw food vegan, I’ve been eating only fresh fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds for a little more than five years. My carnivore kinfolks think I’m strange. And for years, all I could look forward to at holiday meals at their houses was a salad.

However, my focus this holiday is not on food. I’m not trying to get my family members to embrace a vegan lifestyle. It’s just that on Thanksgiving Day, food often becomes the reason for the season, instead of being grateful.

For 20 years, I’ve watched our behavior during Thanksgiving. Before we eat, my family and I hurry through the blessing because we’re so anxious to get to the dinner.

Unfortunately, we only get together for holidays, weddings and funerals, so I’m hoping that by omitting the kind of delicacies my kin has come to expect, they will take the time to become reacquainted and express gratitude for all that is beautiful in their lives.

My mother doesn’t think many people will come because I’m not serving a real turkey, but I’m hopeful. I’ve even invited my cousins from New Orleans, Corey and his mother Jewel Ann, victims of Hurricane Katrina. I’m sure that several relatives will show up, if for no other reason than to see them.

I was inspired to host this year’s dinner after a discussion with Corey, 35, who has been depressed over the things he lost in the hurricane, especially the money he and his mother had just spent renovating their home. “I just want things to be the way they used to be,” said Corey, who has lived in the “Big Easy” all his life.

I reminded him of all the blessings he had received since: a fully furnished apartment in a Dallas suburb, a used car donated by friends, a beautiful bedroom suite, and a new television.

Time has caused him to forget another gift from Spirit. The night before the hurricane, Corey and Jewel Ann decided to stay in their home, thinking the storm wasn’t serious. As the weather got worse, they wanted to leave but didn’t have any transportation. Then a neighbor told them about an old car in his garage he hadn’t been able to start in three years.

Since it was the only vehicle available, Corey and his neighbor ran out to the garage and turned the car’s ignition several times. The car revved up, but shortly thereafter the engine died.

Just as they were about to give up, Corey’s friend decided to give it one more try and Corey, Jewel Ann and his neighbor were able to drive to a hotel in a nearby town. Corey has forgotten that he and his mother fled their home a few hours before Hurricane Katrina ravaged New Orleans, and if they had stayed, they may have lost their lives.

I have never lost a home so I don’t know how he feels. And I don’t mean to be a Pollyanna about the whole thing but I do know that life is change and when change comes, we must go with the flow. I’m hoping that Corey will soon see that this disconnection from the past can be the beginning of a bright future. Like Corey, many of us suffer from spiritual amnesia. When we insist on focusing on the past, we miss the blessings that are available right now.

Darlene E. Paris is a Chicago-based writer specializing in spiritual matters.

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